The True Meaning of Love
by Ashton Li
Summary: Ryoma wanted nothing more than the warmth of someone next to him. Night after night, he would continue to sell his body to be pleasure by another man. Though, when Fuji finds out the things he's doing, he starts to wonder what Ryoma is really after.
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE:**** Welcome and thank you for stopping by. This is yet another one of my FujiXRyoma fics. This idea came to me thanks to this quote: ''Humans love and trust, even if they know they'll get hurt in the end simply because they want warmth, even for just a second, even if it isn't real. That is how lonely we truly are.'' That quote was created by EchizenRyomaLover, so I thank her for helping me out with the idea of this fic. I, of course, do not own these characters nor do I own the Prince of Tennis. Thank you for reading.**

**The True Meaning of Love**

_If life could be as simple as people say it is, I wouldn't be in this situation. If love was meant to be a part of my life, it wouldn't continue to come and go. For now, the warmth of someone next to me will be just fine._

"_Ah!"_

_This is the closest thing that I will ever have to love. Continue to touch me. Break me until I scream for more. Until there is nothing left of me, push me further.

* * *

_

"Nn…" Ryoma slowly opened his eyes to reveal their honey-brown color. Rolling onto his side, he faced the middle of the bed and let out a sigh. "The least you could have done was woke me up to say you were leaving."

Throwing the covers off of himself, he placed his feet on the floor. On the side table, he noticed a piece of paper. Picking it up, he read the note:

_Sorry that I ran off like that. Call me if you want to do this again sometime._

_-Atobe Keigo_

"It gets boring with the same person," Ryoma mumbled as he crumpled the paper and tossed it on the floor. He shifted his eyes to notice the time. "I've already missed my first class."

Not overly worried about the time or how long it would take him to make it to his school, Ryoma went to the bathroom. His steps were sluggish, but, at the same time, it was like he enjoyed the pain last night's play put him in. Examining his face in the mirror, he counted the small purple marks on his skin. With a satisfied look, he reached for his school uniform he had stripped off the night before. After getting dressed he grabbed for the money that sat on the side table. Flipping through it, he nodded and then shoved it in his pocket. Taking one last glance at the bed, he put his bag over his shoulder and left the room.

Ryoma rushed down the hallway and to the lower level of the building. Checking the time on his phone, he darted down the street to the bus stop. He only looked back once at the love hotel he had stayed at that night.

* * *

"Ah! Ryoma!" Horio, who barely reached over Ryoma's height, hit him lightly on the back. "You missed your first two classes. Where were you?"

"Over slept," Ryoma adjusted the strap of his bag. Noting in his head that Horio wasn't going to leave him alone, he let out a sigh. "Where do you think I was?"

"I don't know. You need to get a girlfriend or something though," he shook his head and walked down the hall.

_A girlfriend wouldn't satisfy my needs. You out of everyone should know this…it was you after all that I first seduced into bed with me, _Ryoma softly laughed at himself and trotted after Horio. _Who will be the one to break into me tonight?

* * *

_

In his classroom, Ryoma sat in the back. With a book standing up and open on his desk, he held his cell phone in his had. He softly touched his fingers to the keypad as he responded to a text he had received. Though he didn't recognize the number that was messaging him, he continued to reply until the person on the other end told him that he would be at his house soon. This raised Ryoma's curiosity and made him want to know who this person was anymore.

Ryoma placed his hand in the air. When he was called on, he explained that he felt sick. The teacher easily bought his lie and set the young boy out of the classroom. Walking down the hall, he passed the infirmary and left the building.

* * *

As Ryoma had his house in sight, his eyes locked onto the figure that stood outside. A young, slender man stood there with an overly cheerful smile on his face. It was a person Ryoma hadn't seen in over a year.

"Echizen, are you skipping school?" he tilted his head to the left.

"What are you doing here, Fuji-senpai?" Ryoma crossed his arms in front of his chest. "If you came all the way back here just to use me for tonight, don't think I'll give you a discount."

"I heard about the services you do now, but I have no interest in them. My concern is about what you've been doing."

"What I do has nothing to do with you."

"You're selling your body…for what? Money?" Fuji's eyes opened to reveal their icy blue color. "You're only 17, Echizen. Don't you think you should be doing something else with your life?"

"It's not about the money," Ryoma flipped open his phone to read a message. "If you're not interested in my body, then I have no time for you. I have somewhere I have to go."

"Echizen…"

"Don't bother coming around here again unless you're going to take me out for the night. I have better things to do with my time than waste them on remember old times with the tennis team," he turned around and ignored anything else that was to come out of Fuji's mouth. Not looking back, he headed down the road.

"Maybe I'll be able to get more information from Atobe," Fuji let out a sigh. "I don't understand why you would do this to yourself, Echizen."

* * *

That night, Ryoma found himself once again in a hotel room. Chills were sent up his spine as he was caressed gently by another man. He clenched the sheets in his hands as he moaned out in enjoyment. There was nothing he loved more than having the warmth of someone inside of him. Though, Ryoma knew that once he fell asleep, he would wake up to another empty bed. The rough movement and the kisses he received excited his whole body, but his heart cried out it pain.

* * *

_ Break me until there's nothing left. If the only love I'll ever receive is in the form of multiple people pleasuring me, so be it. Though, one day…I would like to wake up next to someone. I just want the warmth of someone by my side…_

**NOTE:**** Thanks for reading the first chapter. If this is your first time reading one of my fics, thank you for coming by and reading this. If you're one of the people who have read my other fics, thank you for coming to read yet another one. The next update for this fic will be April 21****st****. Also, please check out the new poll in my profile. You know you want to vote in it.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I made Ryoma a sex addict…please don't hate me. I have a lot of plans for this fic…including a lot more "hotel scenes" that will be with more detail (Go ahead, call me a pervert.). I will do my best to make this fic an awesome one. One day, I'm going to make a poll to see which of my FujiXRyoma long fics is everyone's favorite. Oh, and some things that might seem odd in this chapter will be explained later (For example, Ryoma saying he seduced Horio.).**

**I cannot thank you enough for reading this chapter. I do hope you'll come back for the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

Fuji stood outside of the tennis court that held many memories. There was a time that he told himself that he wouldn't return to this place. He never wanted to come back to the town he had lived in let alone find himself attached once again to the young boy he walked away from two years ago. Too many mistakes were made, and there was no one to blame other than himself.

"Ah, Fuji, seems like I made it on time," a young male with silver colored hair smirked as he walked up to Fuji.

"I was starting to think you weren't going to show, Atobe," Fuji stared at him with his icy blue eyes.

"When I heard that you came back in town, I couldn't say no to meeting up with you. Now, what is it that you wanted?" Atobe pulled his soft fingers through his hair.

"How long has it been since Echizen started to sell his body?"

He let of a scoffing laugh. "He called me the minute you skipped town. It seems like he's been jumping from guy to guy ever since."

"Didn't you think the right thing to do would be to reject him?" Fuji tried to hold back his anger, but he could feel it growing within him.

"Hmm…let me guess; you're worried about what Echizen is doing," Atobe crossed his arms and scanned the boy that stood in front of him. "Did you really come all the way back here just for him? Fuji, you should already know you're too late. He already started down this addictive path. He won't just stop…not for me, not for you…not for anyone."

"You still could have prevented this from happening."

"I'd like you to know that I rejected his first offer. I ignored his calls for the rest of the day. It wasn't until I received a text message saying he was stranded outside some hotel and couldn't pay the bill that I went to him," he turned away to look at the tennis courts. "Don't you think you would be the one that could have prevented all of this? After all, you were the one to walk away from Echizen in the first place."

"What happened between Echizen and me doesn't concern you," Fuji's heart pinged in pain and tried his best to shake away all the thoughts that came to him. "I should get going."

Atobe tapped him on the shoulder with a piece of paper. "That's the hotel he tends to go to. You'll be able to find him there on most nights."

"Thanks," he watched Atobe walk off without making another comment. Fuji found himself lost in memories he wished to lose. If he was the cause of Ryoma's addiction, he wanted to fix it before it was too late.

* * *

"Horio," Ryoma slightly swayed in his chair as he watched the other boy eat. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Not this again," Horio mumbled through his rice. He leaned back and took a sip of water. "I told you, I'm not going to give into your needs anymore."

"But I haven't gotten any messages today."

"Is that what I am to you? Your last resort?" he rolled his eyes. "I'm busy."

"I don't change you…and I'll even pay for the room. I'll let you do whatever will please you to me."

"No."

"Horio…" Ryoma grew closer to the boy and let out a seductive moan. "Please."

"You're not like you used to be, Echizen. You always became annoyed when I would do stupid things…well, now your stupidity is annoying me," Horio growled. "It's been this way since Fuji-senpai left."

Ryoma quickly rose to his feet. "This has nothing to do with him. I don't ever want to hear his name again."

"Did he really hurt you that badly?"

"Forget it!" Ryoma pulled out his cell phone and began to dial a number. "I remember there's someone who's been wanting to get with me for awhile. I'm sure he'll jump at this offer."

"Echizen," Horio watched as he stormed out of the room in a fit of rage. "It really does have to do with what Fuji-senpai did to him."

* * *

Ryoma sat in an empty stall in the boy's bathroom. He placed his phone to his ear and listened to the ringing on the other end.

"Hello?" a friendly voice answered.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Ryoma played with strands of his dark teal tinted hair.

"Echizen, it's been awhile since I heard from you. I'm not up to much. What do you have planned?"

"You, me, and a hotel room," there was a playful tone to his voice. "Momo-senpai, if you pay, I'll even let you do whatever would please you to me."

"It's a tempting offer. Where do you want to meet?"

"The hotel I'll be waiting at is called RABU. It'll be suite 12. I'll leave the door unlocked, so you can just walk in. Meet me at five."

"I'll see you then."

"Don't be late," Ryoma pulled his phone away and shut it. There was a satisfied look on his face that hid his inner loneliness.

* * *

When five came around, Momoshiro entered the hotel room and didn't waste one second of his time. With every thrust Momoshiro made, Ryoma let out a shriek showing his enjoyment. Digging deeper and deeper, Ryoma felt as if he was going to break if Momoshiro continued with his rough movements. They moved from the bed to the chair and then back to the bed. They continued as the heat rose until Momoshiro pulled away and Ryoma's face was covered with a white cream.

Ryoma let his tongue come out of his mouth and reach to lick his cheek. "Tastes good."

"You really have become a dirty boy, Echizen," Momoshiro laughed as their lips met. Neither of them thought twice about letting their tongues roam around inside the other's mouth.

"Want to go again?" Ryoma questioned through his panting.

"Sorry," Momoshiro got off the bed. He placed a wad of cash onto the table and headed for the door. "I have to get going. Lets do this again sometime soon though."

Before Ryoma could say a word, Momoshiro had already left. He crawled towards the table that rested next to the bed and grabbed the money. Throwing it away from him, the paper flew around the room as Ryoma let out a piercing scream. "Money isn't enough!"

He curled himself into a tight, little ball, holding his knees close to his chest. He rested his forehead on his knees as his whole body began to shake. In the silence, all that could be heard was his soft sobbing. On the outside, Ryoma was growing and becoming older, but on the inside, he was still just a small child. There was no way to change what he had become, and he knew that all too well. His addiction for wanting to be touched would be what he regretted the most as time passes by. He knew that no one would want to love someone like him.

* * *

_"Fuji-senpai!"_

_ "Fuji-senpai!"_

_ …I don't want to call your name anymore…_

_ …I want the memories of you to disappear so all that is left is this false love…_

_ …man after man…_

_ …I still miss you the most…_

**NOTE:**** First, I want to apologize for being a day late on the update. I wanted to get the next chapter of "An Unknown Disaster" finished and up before I lost what I wanted to write about. The next update for this fic will be April 28****th****.**

**I would like to say that I hope the italic part of this fic isn't confusing. I didn't think about it before and how people might not understand what it really is. For those who couldn't figure it out, the italic parts are basically Ryoma's thoughts. I thought it was kind of interesting writing with them.**

**Things are kind of starting to become clear…well, at least the reason why Ryoma seduced Horio. Now there is something that happened between Ryoma and Fuji. What? Whatever could it be? I feel like I'm writing this fic in an odd way. Am I? Well, I mean, it feels different from my other fics…maybe? I'm not sure.**

**Did you like the scene between Momoshiro and Ryoma? No? Neither did I. I didn't like writing it at all. Then again, I'm not a MomoXRyo fan. Hey, I could have made it a HorioXRyoma scene. Ha!**

**Go ahead and make your guess on what could have possibly happened between Fuji and Ryoma. I actually enjoy reading what people think might have happened. Oh, and I do not plan on having naughty scenes every chapter. At least, I'm going to try not having them too much. Thank you for reading chapter two. I was shocked with all the reviews I received for the first chapter, so thank you very much for all of them. I must say, some of them seemed way too flattering. I hope I can make this worthy of such nice reviews. I've written too much here. Once again, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope to see you for the next one~!**

**(I just realized I'm using Horio as a semi-main character...)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Ryoma sat by the side of the road that laid in front of the hotel. He clicked away at the buttons on his cell phone until it began to ring and vibrate in his hand. Staring down at the number, he let out a sigh and placed the phone against his ear.

"Don't tell me you want to get together this early," Ryoma mumbled.

"Not at all, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I don't have time for you to pretend to care about me, Atobe."

"Hmm? Do you have someone waiting on you? Am I bothering while you're in the middle of something?" Atobe laughed as if mocking what the younger boy was doing with himself.

Ryoma looked up and to his right to notice a familiar figure walking towards him. "I have to go." Without allowing Atobe to reply, Ryoma closed his phone, jumped up, and darted in a different direction from the other person. "What is he doing here?" Ryoma's hand lost grip of his phone causing him to stop. Grabbing for it, he looked up to see the person he was trying to run from right in front of him.

"Echizen, it's childish to run like that."

"Maybe you should tell yourself that, Fuji-senpai," Ryoma growled as he pointed his phone in Fuji's face. "What do you want? I don't have time to waste on you."

"I just wanted to talk with you," Fuji pushed the boy's arm down.

"I said that I don't have time to waste on you. I don't want to talk. If you're not interested in taking me back to that hotel, then I'm not interested in you!"

"Does getting paid to be used really make you happy, Echizen?"

Ryoma raised his hand and swiped it against Fuji's cheek. "It doesn't concern you. You're no longer part of my life, so just walk away like you've done before. Skip town, and this time don't come back."

"It seems like you still have a lot of growing up to do," he placed his hand on his cheek. Fuji shook his head and knew what he was going to say he would regret. "If the only way you'll allow me to talk to you is to pay you, tell me your price."

"I don't get paid to talk. I get paid to allow people to use my body to satisfy their needs," Ryoma turned away from the taller boy to hide the sadness in his eyes. "Man after man will take me in their arms and caress me. They'll enter me and thrust around with violent motions. After I fall asleep, they place the money on the end table and leave me there. I will continue to wake up to no one. My body might be happy with the kisses, but…" He shook his head. "I have to get home."

"Where do your parents think you are?"

"It doesn't matter. They probably think you're still holding my hand."

"Echizen…"

Ryoma's phone rang to signal an incoming message. Looking at it, a smile formed on his face. "Seems like I'll be busy again tonight."

"Is there anyway I can stop you from continuing down this path?"

"Go back in time and never let go of my hand," Ryoma took a few steps forward and felt a hand placed on his shoulder. He nudged it away and continued to walk. "You could have prevented this from happening…"

Fuji could only watch as the young boy headed down the road. There was no reason for him to chase after him; he would just be rejected. Even if he caused Ryoma to become this person, he knew there was no way to go back in time and change the past. Mistakes will always be made and the painful reality would always show itself.

* * *

_"Echizen, what would you do if I asked you out on a date?"_

_ "A date? Fuji-senpai, I don't really know what you're talking about."_

_ "You really are just a naïve tennis player."_

_ "Don't make fun of me," Ryoma bobbed his head back and forth._

_ "But you've already started your first year of high school and you don't know what a date is," Fuji laughed._

_ "Then why don't you just take me on one or whatever," he looked off to the side as his cheeks began to glow in a light red shade. "This is embarrassing."_

_ "Why would you say that?"_

_ "Maybe you're the naïve one, senpai, because I would have said yes if you would have just asked again."_

_ "Ah, so you really do know what a date is. Does this mean you'll go on one with me?"_

_ "…I guess…"

* * *

_

Even the happiest of memories will become bitter with time if one doesn't take care of them. The past cannot be changed, yet people will continue to look back on it as if it can be. Reality will soon hit and the pain will become too powerful to bear.

* * *

_ "Echizen…"_

_ Ryoma pressed his lips against Fuji's as he lost himself in his lust. His breathing was staggering from the rough movements._

_ "We can't, Echizen…"_

_ "I love you, Fuji-senpai."_

_ Fuji's mind shut off from the soft whispering of those words. He couldn't control his desire as he let his body thrust forward. There was no taking back what the two of them were doing at that moment. A flame burned brightly within their hearts as they lost themselves in a passionate heat._

_ "I love you too, Echizen."

* * *

_

This relationship was breaking before it even began…

**NOTE:**** Flashbacks! Flashbacks! Ah, well, yes, what you just read was chapter 3. I know, not a lot happened, but I'm pretty sure things are slowly beginning to be pieced together. I hope this was satisfying enough. The next update will be May 4****th****. I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't that great. I will try harder the next chapter. Ah, at least there was no Horio in this chapter. I know that everyone seems to dislike him. It was just Ryoma and Fuji (and Atobe over the phone). **

**Thank you for reading and supporting this fic. I will continue to do my best to make each chapter enjoyable. I hope to see you for the next chapter~!**


	4. Chapter 4

_This pattern that I have found myself in is becoming annoying. If I could, I would break free, but these chains are too tight around my ankles. They will continue to pull me down until I can no longer stand. The rush of someone inside me isn't as pleasing as I remember it being…

* * *

_

Ryoma wandered around in the morning's sun until he finally stumbled back to his house. Slipping his way through the door, he mumbled a 'hello' to his father who sat in his usual chair; reading the newspaper. Looking above the black and white pages, he stared at his son.

"You haven't been home in a couple of days, Ryoma," Nanjiro placed the paper to the side.

"I've been busy," Ryoma continued his way through the house and towards the stairs.

"Aren't you going to tell me where you were?"

"Out."

"Who were you staying with?"

"Some people I know…friends, I guess," he quickly turned himself to his father. "I have some homework that I need to get done."

"Ryoma, someone was over here last night for you," Nanjiro crossed his arms and cleared his throat. "You never mentioned that you were no longer with that Fuji kid."

Ryoma's heart nearly stopped, and he could feel his breathing failing. His entire body went numb as he bit his lower lip. "Who told you that?"

"Fuji Syusuke."

"I…I'm going to go do my…homework…" he shook away the memories he still held within his heart to keep tears from forming.

"Don't think that just because it's your last year of high school that you can just continue to run around and not come home. You're starting to worry your mother."

Ryoma didn't bother to respond; he just took a few more steps and wobbled his way to his room. He wanted to drown himself in nothingness until the memories that seemed to creep up on him were no longer there. With every throbbing beat his heart made in his chest, he could feel himself being sucked in more and more into the past that he so wished to leave behind.

* * *

_"All the third years are finally graduating. I guess that means we won't all get to hang out together like before," Momoshiro let out a sigh. "This is depressing."_

_ "What do you mean, Momo-senpai?" Ryoma's curious side questioned._

_ "You're so naïve, Echizen. They'll be going off to universities and studying. They won't have time to stick around here."_

_ "…Fuji-senpai…"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Nothing; I have to go," Ryoma darted off down the road until he reached the Fuji residence. His body shook from his nerves as he reached up to knock. Before he could, the door opened._

_ "Echizen, what are you doing here?" the smile that Fuji always wore was planted on his face._

_ "Why didn't you tell me before?" his breathing was heavy. "If you were just going to leave, why did you even bother pulling me in this far?"_

_ "What are you talking about, Echizen?"_

_ "You going to study in a university and just leave me here…"_

_ "That's not completely true, I―" Fuji paused as he heard himself being called for. "Sorry, I have to go. Lets talk about this later."_

_ The door closed, leaving Ryoma to stand there alone and hurt. In his mind, this signified the end of the relationship he held so close to him. His heart was breaking, and he had wanted to find a way to fill the void._

_ "Don't leave me…"

* * *

_

On his bed, Ryoma laid with a pillow over his head. The tears he tried so hard to fight off dripped down his cheeks. It was the first time he had let tears of sadness fall from his eyes since Fuji walked away from him. The void he tried so hard to fill by having so many lovers was never being fixed to begin with. Ryoma's small frame shivered; he knew that he was in need of someone. Even if it was just for a moment, he needed to someone to touch him and pretend to love him. His shaking hand grabbed for his phone.

"Hello?"

"What are you doing right now?" Ryoma's voice cracked.

"Hmm…Echizen, you sound like you're crying."

"Are you busy, Atobe? Meet me at the hotel…"

"I can't," Atobe's voice was stern and it was obvious he wasn't going to give in to the boy's call for help.

"Why?"

He let out a sigh. "How long do you intend on doing these things to yourself?"

"Forget it," Ryoma shut his cell phone and threw it to the side of him. Getting off the bed, he went to his door and locked it. Licking his index and middle fingers of his left hand, he let out a soft grumble. "I guess I'll just have to do it on my own."

* * *

On a park bench outside of a school building, Fuji sat next Atobe. He watched carefully as Atobe hung up his phone and placed it back in his pocket.

"There, I rejected him for you," Atobe pulled his fingers through his hair. "I don't enjoy being put in the middle of this."

"I realize that I've been asking a lot from you, but Echizen seems to at least listen to you…even if it's only a little," Fuji folded his hands together and closed his eyes. "How would you like me to repay you?"

"Unlike Echizen, I'm not interested in your body. Fuji, you should probably get back to school."

"I will after things are better here."

"Did you really come all the way back just to make Echizen stop his bad ways?"

"No," he shook his head and rose to his feet. An unusual frown took form on his face. "I came back because I―"

* * *

"Ah―!" Ryoma tried to muffle his moaning, but he knew that he couldn't. His hand motions grew faster around himself until a white cream flowed out. Taking some in his fingers, he brought it to his mouth. With tear-filled eyes, he placed them in his mouth and swallowed. "…senpai…"

* * *

_If only I could run away from the past like you ran away from me. I would make these memories disappear just like you did. Don't return again…_

**NOTE:**** That was chapter 4. I hope you liked it because I stayed up to write it (I'm really tired because the night before I didn't got to be until 4AM and it is now going on 3AM tonight.). A second chapter without Horio, yay! I will attempt to have an update for May 10****th****. I'm not promising anything though. The best thing to do would be to continue to check my profile. I update almost every day to inform people on what's going on with fics and such.**

**My body is shutting down on me, so I'm going to make the rest of this quick. Thank you very much for reading this chapter as well as the previous chapters. I will do my best to continue to get better as this fic continues on (I realize this chapter fails.). Ryoma's a pervert. I stole Karupin. Stalking is one of the topics I want to write about for another fic (I had to write that before I forget.). I secretly stalk your profile. Join the club. What? Nevermind. Thank you for continuing to read this fic and any other fic of mine you might have read. It means a lot to me. I'll just…go hit my head on my desk now…**


	5. Chapter 5

_ I used to dream of the future we had together. I imagined the happiness we would share. Now, that future is no longer in reach. I have placed myself in a position that will only allow myself to share a future with a bed and various guys night after night. What kind of life have I made for myself? I want to go back…I never wanted you to let go of my hand…

* * *

_

"Oh," Fuji noticed a figure rushing down the sidewalk. "Horio-kun!"

"Huh?" the boy stopped in his tracks and looked up at Fuji. "Fuji-senpai…shouldn't you be in school?"

"I came back for a little bit to try and fix some things."

Horio looked down at his feet and placed his hands in his pockets. "It's about Echizen, isn't it?"

"Have I become predictable?" he giggled while putting his hands on the younger boy's shoulders. "I need you to do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"Don't do anything with Echizen anymore."

"Fuji-senpai, Echizen…he hasn't been the same," he pulled away. "I don't really know what exactly happened, but ever since you've left, he's become this pathetic sex addict."

"I know, and that's why I will do what I can to make things better. First, I need it where he has no where left to run…everyone has to stop giving into him. It's the last thing left since he won't even talk to me."

"Senpai, I'll do what I can to help because…I don't like what Echizen's becoming," he shook his head. "And it doesn't help that I allowed myself to be part of the process that turned him into this person."

Fuji let a smile form on his face as his eyes shimmered in the sunlight. "You've matured since junior high, Horio-kun."

"I couldn't continue to be that showoff I was back then," he laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "I have to get going though…it was nice talking to you again, Fuji-senpai."

He watched as Horio ran past him. "Lets hope this will work out."

* * *

_ Outside, sitting at the edge of the sidewalk, Ryoma fumbled around with his phone in the crisp air of the night. His entire body ached as he wiped the tears from his eyes._

_ "What a sight this is, Echizen," a taller boy extended his hand out. "I never expected that you would ask for my help."_

_ Swatting the hand that was given to him away, Ryoma let out a growl. "Shut up."_

_ "I came here to help you, didn't I? The least you could do is give me a thank you or something…instead you're acting ungrateful."_

_ "I wouldn't have been in this situation if you would have just took my offer, Atobe," Ryoma got to his feet and swung around. "Will you help me or not?"_

_ "I wouldn't be here if I didn't plan on helping you, Echizen. You realize you owe me for this, right?" his silver hair shined underneath the streetlamp._

_ "What do you want from me? My body?"_

_ Atobe snickered as he headed for the door to the hotel. "Hmm…do you think I'm that type of person?"_

_ "Sort of…"_

_ "Why are you even here, Echizen?"_

_ "I forced someone into these walls…seduced him, I guess you could say."_

_ "Why are you doing this?"_

_ Ryoma let out a sigh and shrugged. "To make him know what he's done to me…"

* * *

_

"Hello?" Ryoma held his cell phone up again his ear as he rested on his bed.

"Ochibi~ What are you doing tonight?"

"Eh?" he flung his body to sit up. "Kikumaru-senpai?"

"Are you busy?" Eiji chirped on the other end.

"Why?"

"Lets go out."

"Why?"

"Uh…well…" he cleared his throat before continuing. "I heard of what you were doing and…I―"

"Not interested," Ryoma pulled the phone away as Eiji whined on the other end. "Sorry, I have to go."

"Wait! Ochibi, what about tomorrow?" he tried to force the conversation to go on.

"Aren't you in school, Kikumaru-senpai? I wouldn't want to bother you and your studies."

"It's just one night," Eiji protested, but no matter what he said, the end result was the same; Ryoma wasn't going to give in.

"Good bye," Ryoma shut the phone and tossed it to the side. "I won't fall for these tricks of yours."

* * *

_"Ah!"_

_ Pierce into my body until I beg for you to stop and even after that…continue to break me even further. I live for this touch…this fake love…this passion that will not last any longer than this one blissful night.

* * *

_

"Did it work?"

"No…Ochibi rejected me."

"It's okay, Eiji, he must have known I asked you to do that for me."

"Fuji…" Eiji let out a sigh. "When are you coming back to school?"

Fuji's breathing stopped for a slight moment as his fingers gripped tightly around his cell phone. "I'm not coming back…not until I've made things right here."

"You really are starting to worry me…"

"Sorry, I have to go; there's another call coming in. I'll talk to you later," Fuji quickly switched over to the other line. "Hello?"

"I have some information that might be of use to you," a soft almost feminine sounding voice spoke into Fuji's ear.

"I had a feeling I was going to hear from you, Yukimura," he pulled his fingers through his tangled, light brown hair. "What is it that you know?"

"Apparently one of my old teammates is taking Echizen-kun out tonight. I'm sure you remember him, Fuji."

"Who?"

"Niou," the words easily slipped from Yukimura's lips.

"Niou…" Fuji repeated. "Do you know where he's taking Echizen?"

"All I know is that he does plan on bringing Echizen-kun back to a hotel. There's nothing else that I can tell you that will be of help."

"That was plenty enough to help me. Thank you, Yukimura, I owe you."

Yukimura chuckled on the other end of the phone. "Don't worry about it…I'm not like Echizen-kun, so I don't want your body."

Without even bothering to say goodbye, Fuji hung up his phone and shoved it into his pocket. He looked up to see the sun fading behind a set of clouds. "They'll be at the hotel after the sun has set…that's when I'll confront Echizen."

* * *

Ryoma stood up against the railing of a wooden bridge staring at the flowing water. He let out a sigh as a small stick with various pieces of chicken was placed in front of his face. It was waved around until he finally grabbed for it.

"Are you not enjoying yourself?" a boy a good bit taller than Ryoma smiled as the night's breeze pulled through his dusty white hair.

"It's not that…" Ryoma muttered. "Why did you bring me here, Niou-san?"

"I thought it would be a nice change from your normal routines. Don't you like being outside of that cage of a hotel room?"

He bit into the food that was given to him and shook his head. "What? Do you plan doing things out here?"

"Not at all," Niou placed his hand carefully under Ryoma's chin and forced him to move closer. "I plan on bringing you back to your cage and playing with you until you beg me to stop."

"I doubt you'll be able to last that long."

"You shouldn't say though types of things to me, Echizen-kun. I'm not like those other people who have been inside of you," he smirked as he watched the sky beginning to change to a purple and pink shade. "We should go before it gets too late."

"About time," Ryoma gasped as Niou grabbed for his hand and ran down the path towards the road.

* * *

_Bring me back to where I belong. Being out here with someone reminds me too much of when I was still the most precious person in his life. I'm nothing but an object now…I don't deserve to go out and have fun. I'm not worth it…

* * *

_

Ryoma found himself once again pinned down to the bed of suite number 12. His breathing was heavy as Niou lightly traced his fingers against Ryoma's bare chest. He dug his fingers into the sheets while Niou nibbled at his nipples. With each move Niou made, Ryoma felt himself becoming more and more excited. Their lips met and their tongues fought each other; parting, they were still connected by the slightest amount of saliva. Carefully, Ryoma's gray shorts were removed and he let out a soft huff when Niou forced the boy up onto his knees. His back straightened when two fingers slowly pushed their way inside of him.

"Wh…what are…you doing?" Ryoma's voice was broken from his panting.

"Playing," Niou whispered into his ear before biting it.

"Just…put it in already…" his face was flushed from the touch of Niou's tongue. "Stop…stop fooling…around…"

Niou's fingers began to move in and out of the younger boy causing him to scream in joy. "Why should I when I can easily satisfy you just by doing this?"

"Because…this…this isn't what I'm paid to do!" right as he growled those words, he could feel Niou's cool breath on his backside. His lips made contact with his soft skin as his hand moved faster until Ryoma let out a painful scream.

"Already?" Niou stared at the white substance that covered the bed sheets. He removed his fingers and let Ryoma lick at them. "And you said I wouldn't be able to last."

Ryoma quickly turned around and reached his hands out to touch the belt that was wrapped around Niou's waist. "I'm not even close to being satisfied." Unbuckling the belt, he worked on the buttons that held on Niou's pants. "I want more." As he lowered his head and opened his mouth, the door creaked open causing Niou to push the boy away.

"I thought the door was locked," Niou jumped up, threw the sheet over Ryoma's naked body, and fixed his pants. "Who's there?"

"Sorry to intrude, but I knew this was the only way I could get Echizen to listen to me…"

"F…Fuji-senpai―" Ryoma bit his lower lip and tried to fight off his tears. In a fit of rage, he lashed his body at Fuji. "You shouldn't be here!"

* * *

_This room is my cage…these chains wrapped around my ankles will stay…until that day you come back and set me free. I can no longer save myself; I'm locked inside…begging to be let out. You shouldn't be in my memories anymore…_

**NOTE:**** Hi~ I know I've been gone for a month or so (I can't remember when I updated this fic last, sorry.). I'm sorry. I'm back though, and I brought you a new chapter for this fic! This was the 5****th**** chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it. Everyone loves cliffhangers, right? Did I make a decent comeback for being gone for awhile? I hope so since I haven't written anything fic related in a month. Lets plan on the next update being July 9****th****, alright? Yes, I'm back to giving myself a schedule~!  
This chapter has actually a lot of information given to you all at once, but I'm not going to talk about that since you all can figure that out on your own. I actually really enjoyed writing the NiouXRyoma part of this fic, and I hope Niou was at least a little bit in character. Oh, and Horio finally came back in this chapter.**

**Enough from me though. Thank you for reading. The sun has risen, it's going on 6:30 in the morning, and I haven't slept yet…I stayed up to write this for you all. It feels great to be back fic writing again! I'm going to go to sleep now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I will be back soon with more. Thank you for continuing to read this fic~!**


	6. Chapter 6

Fuji held onto Ryoma's body until he heard Niou calling out his name causing Ryoma to push himself away. He retreated back to Niou's side where he was helped back into his clothes.

"What are you doing here?" Ryoma questioned as Niou buttoned the shirt he placed over the younger boy's body. "Did you want to watch? Did you want a free show?"

"I came to talk to you," Fuji took a few steps forward, but was stopped by Niou.

"If you didn't notice, the two of us were busy," Niou placed his hand under Fuji's chin, pulling him up to look into his eyes. "This really isn't the time for you to be coming around to talk with him. I paid a nice price, and I'd rather you not ruin the moment anymore."

"You think it's okay for you to sit here and do things to Echizen just because you paid him?" he slapped Niou's hand away. "It's people like you that cause him to continue to do these things!"

Niou shook his head and returned to Ryoma who emotionlessly watched them. "But, weren't you the one who clipped his wings and locked him in this cage, Fuji? These tears," he lightly licked Ryoma's cheek, "are cried over you."

"You should leave," Ryoma focused his vision on the plush carpet. "You should stay out of my business…and my life…"

"Is this what you want? A life filled with nothing but false love?" Fuji turned himself towards the door. "Do you really want me to just leave you here with nothing to hold onto?"

"This false love…this is…everything here…it's what you've created for me!" he growled and once again tried to attack Fuji. This time, he was held back by Niou's strong arms. "Let me go! I want to hit him!"

"Now, now, you're ruining the plans we had," Niou played with his buttons. "Would you like to continue or let Fuji ruin everything?"

"He…he already has…" Ryoma forced Niou away from him and headed towards the table that sat next to the bed. He took the money from it and threw it at Niou; the paper flew around and fell to the ground. "It's not the money that I want…it's not enough for me. You wouldn't understand…no one ever does."

"Then, all you really want is the sex," Fuji slowly passed around Niou and found himself pinning Ryoma to the bed. "Is this all you want? Will this make you happy?"

"What are you doing?" Ryoma squirmed around on the bed as Fuji began to go after his shirt. "Get off of me! Leave me alone!"

"Won't this satisfy your pathetic needs?"

"I don't want you! Just go away!" Ryoma felt Fuji's body be pulled off of him right before his lips made contact with his soft skin.

"I think you've stayed too long, Fuji," Niou smirked as he held onto the smaller boy. "It's time you leave."

Fuji broke away from Niou's embrace and made his way back to the door. He turned only to take a quick glance at Ryoma before leaving the room.

"Senpai…senpai…no," Ryoma curled himself up into a ball as he sat against the wall on the large bed. "…no…"

"Echizen-kun," Niou placed himself next to the shiver boy and allowed his arms to wrap around him. "We don't have to do anymore."

Ryoma peered at him out of the corners of his eyes. "It's fine. We can continue. I need the warmth…"

"If that's what you want," he snickered as he began to tug at Ryoma's shirt, "I'll give it to you."

"Good."

* * *

_ This passion won't last. It'll end just like always.

* * *

_

"Ah!"

* * *

_You'll push into me, take me, break me…but there is no love. Would it have been less lonely if I had never let this happen?

* * *

_

"Your sweet cries are rather satisfying, Echizen-kun."

* * *

_What am I? A prisoner? A slave? This bed. These walls. This room. It's all I have left. My life has becoming meaningless. I'm just here to play with. So, please play with me until I've become broken and useless. I'm only here to satisfy your needs…no one could ever love someone like me. Not after what I've become. No one will be here when I wake in the morning. I'm filthy.

* * *

_

"More…please…!"

* * *

_It doesn't matter. Nothing ever does. If you wouldn't have left…if you would have stayed with me…would things have been different? Or would I still find myself in this bed? This one night warmth that lasts only for awhile is all I have left. I cannot spread my wings. I cannot be set free. Why am I the one being punished for what you've done to me?_

**NOTE:**** I apologize. I apologize for the fact that I haven't updated in a month or however long. I have failed. I will go bash my head against my desk now. Though, I would like to explain a bit if you'd allow me to. I moved recently. Sometime before August, I believe. When I first moved, I didn't have a desk and it was hard for me to write. Then, my main laptop's power adaptor thing (You know, the thing that charges the battery.) broke and stopped working. My second laptop is slow and horrible, and I didn't use it much. So, I had to wait to get my desktop computer hooked up. Though, it took me forever to find my fics on my external. Then, I realized I didn't have this fic on there because I had already started writing this chapter. Also, I have had a horrible writer's block. So, yes, there is my excuse for lacking with the updates.**

**Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and it was decent enough for you since I left you hanging there for awhile. I know it is short, but I didn't feel like bringing more into this chapter. I have totally become a NiouXRyoma fan. Weird. I have realized that this fic has turned out totally different from how I had originally planned it.**

**For update information, just keep an eye on my profile. I will try my hardest to update for September 12****th****, but I can't promise you much such I'm getting my Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep game on the 7****th**** (Yes, laugh at my nerdy gamer needs.).**

**I hope that you've enjoyed this fic thus far. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really do hope this chapter was decent enough after that cliffhanger. I will admit, I fell in love with Niou's line to Fuji about Ryoma. I'm going to attempt to write some more before the 7****th****. Thanks for all the support and such!**


	7. Chapter 7

Ryoma softly grunted as he turned onto his side. Pushing the covers off of him, he listened to the buzzing of his alarm clock. Slamming his hand against it, it fell from the small table and crashed to the floor. His head rose from his pillow, and he once again let out a sound to show his annoyance. With feet planted firmly on the ground, he stood up.

"School…" he mumbled to himself. Carefully, he picked up his clock and placed it back in its spot. Moving about his room, he grabbed for his wrinkled uniform and proceeded to put it on. His body was sore, and his head wouldn't stop pounding. How long had he been sleeping? He couldn't even remember. The night he shared with Niou had become nothing but a painful blur.

* * *

_They just come and go. The warmth, no matter how long we stay together, it fades with the morning. You want sex, I want warmth. You give me money, this is a curse.

* * *

_

Slipping out of his room, Ryoma slinked his way through the house. Grabbing the toast that rested on a plate on the kitchen table, he let out a grunt and placed it in his mouth. With his bag resting on his shoulder, he left the house without even mumbling a goodbye.

With every step he took, he could feel himself growing heavier. His movement became sluggish causing him to stop. Soon, he found himself collapsing to the pavement. As his head smacked against the ground, Ryoma's mind went completely blank. Letting out a soft moaning sound, his body laid still as he began to drift from reality.

* * *

_One day, I would like to wake up with someone next to me. I want to be greeted by a warm smile followed by a tender kiss. The warmth that would usually fade with the falling of the night would stay throughout the morning; forevermore._

"Nn…" Ryoma rolled to his side and let his arm fell forward. When he felt it hit something soft, he immediately jumped up. "Where?"

"If you can stand up for long enough, you should probably get home."

"How did I get here? What have you done to me?" as he got to his feet, Ryoma fell right back onto the bed.

"Whatever you've been doing sure is taking a lot out of you, Echizen."

"Fuji-senpai…I'm leaving!"

"You say that, but you can barely move," Fuji closed the book that he held in his hand and placed it off to the side. "Your body is too weak to do anything."

"What did you do to me?"

"I've done nothing. I merely found you passed out on the sidewalk outside of my house. Maybe I should be asking what you were doing here."

Ryoma laid himself back down on the bed and looked away from Fuji. He clung to the pillow and let out a sigh. "Let me just rest for a couple more minutes then I'll leave. I won't be much of a…bo…ther…"

"Echizen!" Fuji pulled himself off the bed while looking down at the now sleeping boy. "You shouldn't stay here. If you do, I might…I might…"

* * *

_I'd be lying if I said I didn't still love you. Every time someone else touches me…I pretend it's you. This mystery we call love is nothing but a painful experience. If I could go back in time, I still wouldn't reject you. In my mind, the bittersweet memory of our first kiss is more precious than anything else I hold. I only ever wanted to be broken so you could see what you've done to me. In the end, I want you to be the one to put my pieces back together.

* * *

_

Ryoma once again found himself in the bed of his room. Covering his face with his hands, he let out a painful scream. He felt something wet on his cheeks as his hands moved away. Opening his eyes, he looked around and sat up. He was confused and all he could think about was the pounding in his head.

"Nya!" Karupin jumped up on to the bed causing the young boy to shake.

"How did I get back home?" he carefully reached his hand out and scratched the soft fur behind his cat's ear. "Was all of that just a dream…what did Fuji-senpai…do with me?"

"Ryoma! Hurry up or you're going to miss school again!" from down the stairs, Nanjiro called for the puzzled boy.

"Again?" Ryoma jumped out of the bed and tumbled to the floor. His whole body quivered in pain. "What happened to me?"

* * *

"_You shouldn't stay here."_

_I'll one day regret all the action I've ever made. Then, as soon as I wake up to find myself wrapped in your arms, I'll remember where these mistakes have led me. Lift this curse from me so we can return to the way things used to be. Please, tell me you still love me…_

**NOTE:**** Sorry for the delay. I think this might be the turning point of the fic? Not sure? Confusion! Anyways, let me make this quick. I'm not that sure when the next update will be. Hopefully sometime during this month of November. I participate in NaNoWriMo, so I'll do my best to balance all of these things. This chapter might be confusing, I'm not sure. As always, things will be explained later on. You can go on to assume whatever you'd like to with what happened between Fuji and Ryoma. For now, it's my little secret.  
**

**Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll be able to wait for the next chapter to come out. I'll do my best to continue this fic and make it somewhat decent~!**


	8. Chapter 8

Barely able to stand on his own two feet, Ryoma wobbled out of his room and towards the bathroom. Turning on the light, he stared at his peachy face in the mirror. Scanning over himself, he stepped back and unbuttoned his shirt; trying to find the source of his body's pain. Nothing. There were no signs of what could be causing this aching that surged through him with every movement he made.

"Maybe I'm still sore from before…" Ryoma concluded and shifted himself towards the door; heading back to his own room.

After preparing himself for the school day, Ryoma stumbled out of the house. He sighed as the morning's sun warmed up his skin. Slowly, he headed for the school; unwilling to see what the day help for him.

* * *

"Ah, Echizen!" Horio's voice cracked as he greeted the boy with a pat on the back. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Hn… I wasn't feeling good," Ryoma plopped down in his chair.

"Really? When I called your house, I was told you weren't home."

Slamming his hands against his desk, Ryoma rose to his feet; searching his pockets for his cell phone. Not in his pants, he went after his bag and looked through ever pocket. Unable to find it, he turned to Horio in a panic. With his honey eyes pierced with fears, he begged his friend to borrow his phone. Not explaining a thing, he took the cellular device from him and ran from the room.

"Echizen!"

* * *

"What happened? What happened?" with shaking hands, Ryoma's fingers raced across the touch pad. "WHAT HAPPENED!"

"Hello?" a soft voice came from the other end of the phone.

"What did you do to me?" he let out a growl as he shuffled through the hall.

"Echizen? Are you in the stealing phone business now?" the voice snickered. "Have you really become that pathetic?"

"Stop acting like you don't know anything, Fuji-senpai! What did you do to me? I know now that yesterday wasn't just a dream!"

"I warned you that you shouldn't stay. You're the naïve boy who decided to stick around," Fuji hissed. "You're body is as delicious as ever, Echizen."

Ryoma felt his knees give out as his body dropped to the floor. The phone he held slipped from his fingers and fell beside him. Salty tears formed and dripped down his cheeks. He couldn't stop himself from shaking as he mumbled inaudible nothing. Everyone around him continued to walk right by; ignoring the boy who could no longer control his crying. He didn't understand where these emotions were coming from; Fuji shouldn't mean anything to him anymore.

"Thank you. I look forward to seeing how strong the tennis team has grown si―" a tall boy with a medium shade of brown hair stopped as he saw the young boy in the hallway. "Echizen?"

His head quickly jerked up from the familiar stern voice. "T-Tezuka-buchou!"

The older boy turned to who he had been walking with and whispered a few words before returning to Ryoma. "What's going on here?"

"I… I…" Ryoma grabbed the cell phone and attempted to get up and dart off in the other direction. He found himself stuck as a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. "I… have to get to… class…"

"Lets talk later then, Echizen."

Ryoma swiftly turned around and stared up into Tezuka's eyes. "I think it would be better if we didn't."

"Hmm… why is that?"

"I… I'm not that Echizen Ryoma you remember…"

"That's why I think it's best we talk."

"I…"

Tezuka pulled out his phone from his pocket. "What's your number?"

"Uh…" unwillingly, Ryoma barely uttered the number as Tezuka typed it into the phone.

"I'll call you later then. Return to class and work hard like always, Echizen."

"Okay… Tezuka-buchou…"

"It's just Tezuka now. You should know that."

"Right…" without another word, Ryoma wobbled down the way he had came.

Tezuka carefully watched the younger boy and sighed. "So, the rumors are true. The pillar really has shattered and broke into nothing."

* * *

_ Are you just like the others? You've found me when I'm most vulnerable… do you just want a taste? Do you want to dip into me and pull me into a world of pleasure? I feel so pathetic when I'm seen like this. Crying… broken… useless. You're just like the rest even if you pretend not to be. You just want my body… even if you don't think you do. You want to hear me yell out and scream while we form some heat. You'll just feed me lies just like the rest of them. What am I doing to myself? This will never be what I want. I'm not proving anything with these actions…

* * *

_

At a small tennis court, Fuji stood watching a couple playing against each other. He held his phone tightly in his hand and shook his head. Looking at the small device, he dialed and number and placed in near his ear.

"Hey, Fuji, what's going on? Still out of town?"

"Don't worry, I'll be returning to school shortly," Fuji seemed uncertain as he spoke. "It seems like there's not much left here for me to do."

"Oh! Did you get everything back in order?"

"Not exactly. It seems like I'm just making things worse. Eiji, make sure the room is clean for when I get back."

"So you're just giving up?" Eiji whined. "That's not like you!"

"There's nothing left for me to do. I pushed to far in and stepped to far away in the end. I'm causing him more problems. If he wants to ruin himself, let him. It's obvious I'm not wanted."

"Fuji, if you still lo―"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I need to get back to my school work anyways. I can't continue to sit here and play around."

"Fuji… ochibi needs to get out of this mess…"

Biting his lower lip, the boy sighed. "What else is there left for me to do when he doesn't even want to talk to me? If I stay around here, things are just going to continue to become more chaotic."

"Stop talking like that! You love ochibi still, and you realize you made a mistake… so force him to listen to you! He needs to hear your side of the story too. It's not like you just decided to walk off and leave him there… it's not like this is how you wanted things to be. It's not your fault he's too naïve to understand anything!" Eiji's voice bellowed in Fuji's ear. "You have to find a way, Fuji… you just have to!"

"I'll talk to you later, Eiji," Fuji let his eyes flutter close as he hung up the phone; placing it once again in his pocket. "I wish I would have never pushed in so deep. This behavior… it really is my fault. Echizen, I never meant to lock you down and leave you there. It was just too early… you weren't ready… and I knew you couldn't handle the pain. Though, is what you're feeling now any better? I wonder…"

* * *

_Mistakes. I hate them. If I could be a perfect being, I would be. I would live in eternal happiness. I would be holding onto your hand and smiling. Impossible. You never wanted me to begin with me. Lock me down, clip my wings… leave me. Walk away just like always. I want to be loved. Oh, how I just want to be loved again. It's this thing called love that has wounded me so greatly though. Fake love. Real love. I don't even know the difference anymore. I just want warmth. Someone, break me more. This sick pleasure… this pathetic bliss… it's all that's left for me. Push into me, anyone. Use me until I'm good no more. Life will never be a simple as some people claim it to be. This is reality. I can see how truly pathetic I've become without you by my side. I don't wish to admit it… I refuse to. I don't need you. I'll continue to lie…_

**NOTE:**** Pardon my extremely late update. I have no clue what my problem has been these past few months. Anyways, this was chapter 8… the chapter that will bring forth more chaos or something like that. I'm not sure where Tezuka came from. Guess he felt left out and decided to join the cast. I won't argue though. I hope this was worth the wait and that people don't completely dislike me for taking forever and a day. I'll try to update soon!**

**Also, before I forget, there's a poll in my profile. Be a dear and vote in it. Alright? There's my creepy side coming out again. Sorry, sorry. Thank you for reading this chapter and this particular fic thus far. I'll continue to update the best I can, so I hope you'll come back for more… if you like this fic. Thanks~**


	9. Chapter 9

_ "Fuji-senpai, lets hold hands," Ryoma stood there with left arm extend towards Fuji._

_ "Huh? I don't think that's something we should do," he scanned the area around him; busy with people walking by._

_ "I didn't think you were the type to scare away easily."_

_ Shaking his head, he grabbed the young boy's hand. "Fine, amuse me some more then, Echizen."_

_ A grin painted Ryoma's face as he giggled. It was as if the contact had made an odd happiness surge through every inch of his small frame. This childish behavior wasn't common for this stubborn boy, but Fuji had always managed to bring out a different side of him. It was also only for Fuji that he would let it show.

* * *

_

Ryoma sat in class; shaking away the memories that crept around in his mind. Unable to focus on what the teacher had to say, he rested his head on his desk. He tried to block out every sound and thought, but it was nearly impossible when events of the past kept running his mind and tugging at his heart. The happiness that had been shown in these memories brought nothing but sadness to Ryoma now. No matter how hard he tried to, he just couldn't erase them. His mind didn't work like a pencil on paper; scratching away what he didn't like and writing in something new wasn't part of reality.

"Forget, forget, forget," he mumbled as he dozed off.

* * *

_ "Were you even trying?" Ryoma pointed his racket at Fuji. "I don't like it when people let me win."_

_ Fuji couldn't help but chuckle and let his icy blue eyes show. "I couldn't help it since I was curious about what we'd do if you win. So, Echizen, what do you want?"_

_ "I want to spend the night with you," the words had so carelessly slipped from his lips._

_ "Oh? A sleepover?"_

_ "I want to sleep with you…"

* * *

_

_ Ryoma had found himself sitting up on Fuji's chest that night. Their kisses had been more intense and the heat was high. Emotions raged and there would be no taking back the actions that had happened._

_ "We can't, Echizen…" Fuji huffed; his words didn't agree with hands for they had been pulling at Ryoma's shirt._

_ "I love you, Fuji-senpai," the young boy's lips locked up against the older one's once more._

_ Without another thought, Fuji sat up and pinned Ryoma to the bed. There had been no time to think as clothes were already being taken off. Their naked bodies touched together as they continued to kiss; letting their tongues roam around in the other's mouth. The heat continued to rise along with Ryoma's legs._

_ "I love you too, Echizen," Fuji's hand lightly brushed against the skin of Ryoma's lets. "That's why…"_

_ A piercing cry rang through the room as Fuji penetrated into Ryoma. Fuji had his body thrust forward and his movements became rough. The screams Ryoma let out seems to be nothing but music to his sadistic ears. As Ryoma felt Fuji entering deeper into his body, he gasped; tears smearing his rosy cheeks. He had come to find the bliss within all the pain that surged through him. His screams turned into moans as he fell victim to the lustful passion. At that moment, Echizen had became prisoner to his cage. He allowed for Fuji to take all of him and clip his wings in order to never be left behind. That rush of ecstasy was something he didn't want to let fade. One final thrust forward was given causing Ryoma to find something besides Fuji filling inside him. He couldn't hold back any longer either._

_ "AH!"

* * *

_

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" Ryoma quickly rose up from his desk. He pulled at his hair while his body violently shook; unable to hide his crying.

"Echizen?" Horio looked over from his desk.

"What is the matter?" the teacher demanded. "Echizen, what is this behavior?"

There was no response from him as he tossed his things into his bag. Not explaining a thing, he stumbled around desks and out the door.

"Echizen! Get back here!" the calls were pointless; he wasn't coming back.

* * *

Down the hall, he once again rushed. No students were in sight as he made his teary-eyed self through the school. With blurred vision, it wasn't certain if Ryoma was going in the right direction or even if he knew where he was at. It didn't matter at that moment because all he wished to do was run from the painful memory stabbing at his heart. No matter how many steps he took forward, though, he was doing nothing but falling back. He wobbled as he walked, and, just like before, his knees buckled and his body would no longer stay up. Having no will to keep himself from falling, he allowed himself to collapse; only to be stopped by another's body.

"Echizen?" the masculine voice spoke in his ear. A hand rested up against the young boy's back. "Wh―"

"Tezuka," Ryoma gasped for air. His fingers wrapped around the cloth of Tezuka's shirt as his tears refused to dry. Moving just a bit, Ryoma allowed for his head to nuzzle up against Tezuka's chest.

"Do you want to talk now?"

"I don't want to love him!" he growled and looked up; his honey eyes glossy from the tears. "You can have it for free."

"What are you talking about?"

"My body… take it! Please, please, please! Use me, break me… do whatever. Just make me forget! Make the memory go away!"

Tezuka gently wiped Ryoma's wet cheeks. "I'm not interested in your body, Echizen. All I'm interested in is talking with you."

"No, no," he vigorously shook his head. "You want sex. You want my body."

"You've got it wrong," he broke away and bent down to Ryoma's shorter level. "Not everyone in this world is interested in your body. There are people who want you for other reasons. Have you become so blind that you can't even see what you've become?"

"I don't have time to talk…" Ryoma managed slip around Tezuka and tried to get away.

"You don't have time to run either," Tezuka called after him; making him stop. "Have you ever thought that there might be a bigger reason behind the events that have led up to this? Echizen, you should know that Fuji i―"

"I don't want to talk about him."

"You don't want to talk about him because you don't wish to face the truth. I haven't lost contact with him, Echizen, so I know what is going on. Maybe it would be easier for me to tell you right here and now, but the words that need to be spoken to you should come from Fuji himself. The reasons why you two tore so violently apart…" he paused for a moment; keeping himself from going any farther with that particular sentence. "Every event in this world happens for a reason be it missing a serve or parting with a good friend. I cannot force you to do anything you don't want to, but I ask as a friend to put aside the anger and listen to what Fuji has to say."

"Tezuka… why did we all grow apart? Back at Seigaku, we seemed like an unbeatable team with a great friendship to go with it. Then, year by year, we continued to go in different directions. Why couldn't we just stay like we were back on the tennis team?" Ryoma turned around with his eyes fixed to the floor.

"Friendships can only last if we want them to. Both sides have to continue to keep in contact. If one is to give up, it will just fall apart. We couldn't stay at Seigaku forever nor could we continue to stay together. Some of us just didn't fight to keep the friendship alive, and we only got to see each other again by chance."

"And us?"

"I would be lying if I said I didn't know about what you've become," he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Though, I didn't expect to run into you while on my visit to the school."

"I… I have to go…" Ryoma didn't let Tezuka stop him this time as he ran down the hall.

"Make the right choice, Echizen…"

* * *

_In this world, there can be great happiness. Though, with that happiness comes suffering. You cannot have one without the other. Sometimes we suffer longer and our happiness only lasts for a minute. When will my suffering finally come to an end? Questions like this have to real answer. I hate this world and all it has given me. I can't help but wonder though… was I just suffering when I was with you?

* * *

_

"No one tonight?" Ryoma growled from his bed; staring at his phone. "This is annoying… I need someone. I need that rush of feelings to make myself forget. I need someone to use me and break me even further…"

* * *

_ Is this really what I want? Do I want to continue to break more and more in order to remove those memories from my mind? I remember telling you that I love you which caused us to rush into actions that we probably shouldn't have. Did I even know what those words meant back then? Do I even know what they mean now? The true meaning of love… it's still a mystery to me. If I allowed for you to tell me your side of the story, would you explain to me all these confusing things? I don't want to have these feelings for you…_

**NOTE:**** Here is chapter 9. No, there was chapter 9. I updated in a timely manner finally! Yay~! It's almost 7 in the morning as I'm typing this note. This means that I must really love all my readers right now because I haven't slept yet. I hope you liked this chapter. It was filled with flashbacks… including one that was mentioned earlier in chapter 3.**

**I can't think coherently right now, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Thank you for reading this chapter and fic and so on. Sorry if Tezuka is totally OOC. If he is, he's older now, so he's allowed to change. Thanks again. See you next chapter~ *falls asleep at desk***


	10. Chapter 10

Ryoma found himself outside the Fuji residence; standing before the door. Every once in awhile, he reached his arm up but never dared to make contact with the door. In his mind, Ryoma continued to question how it was his feet managed to get here on this sunny morning. He didn't remember having any will to be there nor could he get himself to leave. It was on these front steps that the door was shut on him and the love he thought was shared between him and Fuji was lost. As he remained there thinking about everything, the door cracked open; startling Ryoma.

"How long do you plan on loitering there, Echizen?"

"Uh!" Ryoma quickly looked up into Fuji's glowing blue eyes before shifting his vision away.

"Echizen, what are you doing here?" the question pierced through Ryoma's heart.

"Do you expect me to ask the same things as before?" he bit his lower lip and shook his head. "Do you want me to ask why you didn't tell me you were leaving? Do you expect me to allow myself to fall to pieces like I did before?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm leaving like you want me to… and I won't return. I won't bother you or try to change your life anymore," Fuji turned himself around. He could feel his heart breaking but knew that there was nothing more he could do.

Ryoma pulled his hands up and clung onto the back of Fuji's white shirt; forcing him to stop. "Tell me!"

* * *

_ "Echizen, you look best with that cute smile."

* * *

_

"Tell me why! Why did you leave me?"

* * *

_ "Forever is a long time, don't you think, Echizen?"

* * *

_

"Don't just close the door again on me!"

* * *

_ "I really do like you, Echizen. It pleases me to be with you."

* * *

_

"I'm sick of crying over you and wondering what I did wrong!"

* * *

_ "How long, I wonder, do you think we'll be able to hold each other's hand? Echizen, what do you think? Can you commit yourself to one person forever?"

* * *

_

"Tell me! Release me from this cage you placed me in!"

Fuji tore away from Ryoma's grasp and swiftly returned to looking at him. His pale hands cupped under Ryoma's chin and pulled him closer in order for their lips to meet. As they parted, Fuji put his mouth to Ryoma's left ear and barely uttered, "No matter which way, I just continue to hurt you." Stepping forward, he caused Ryoma to move back and out of the way of the door that slammed closed.

"Fuji-senpai! Senpai!" Ryoma pounded his fists against the door. "Don't do this! Senpai! Teach me! Teach me what love really is! I don't… I just… I hate it… everything…"

* * *

_Why? Why must we hold onto such fragile things that break so easily? This life… this precious life I've been given is torturing me. Is love nothing more than a selfish wanting for someone to be near to you? Even so, more than anything, this is a wanting I can't shake. To love and be loved… that special bond between two people… I want it. To be freed from this cage and be able to live without hate is something I've been wishing for lately. No matter how much I deny it, in the end, I truly, truly have a desire to be with you more than anyone else. Despite the pain you've placed in my heart… I still want you. Even if the feelings were bore at that time were premature, I want to continue to nurture those emotions and allow them to develop correctly. Why must we push each other away when we have finally realized the truth? Call me naïve and stubborn… it doesn't matter anymore. I just want to return to how things were before that door was closed and our unripe love departed.

* * *

_

In a fit of anger, Ryoma took his cell phone from his pocket and raced down the road. His fingers furiously dialed number after number as he demanded each person he spoke with to meet him at the hotel in the same room as usual. Coming into the hotel, he threw money at the woman at the front desk and snatched the key; quickly going up the elevator and to the room. Noting that no one had made it yet, he kept the door unlocked and stripped off his clothes with no hesitation. Climbing under the covers, he waited for the first person to walk in.

Though, outside in the hall, Niou, Atobe, and Momoshiro stood staring at each other. They were all confused as to why Ryoma would call them all together at one time. It was obvious that he was up to something, but they couldn't figure out his reasoning. Seeing Horio rushing through the hall and yelling for them not to do anything, they all were shocked to see the taller man running along side him.

"Tezuka," the three voices echoed together.

Tezuka scanned those who stood in front of him. He shook his head disappointingly when his sight reached Momoshiro. "I don't know if I should be ashamed of you or pity you. To come here at the wishes of Echizen only to defile his body… have you no honor?"

"Ah, then what are you doing here, Tezuka?" Atobe snickered.

"To put a stop to this since no one else will," Tezuka took a few steps forward and pushed the door open; leaving the others outside.

"He takes all the fun out of these games," Niou sighed and threw his hands up. "Seems like my turn always gets ruined."

"Tezuka-sama is right though!" Horio growled. "Maybe you were too busy placing yourself on him to notice what was really happening to Echizen. Allowing ourselves to continue to give into his calls… it was all wrong of us!"

"Horio…" Momoshiro felt his body slightly shiver. He slowly turned himself to Atobe and Niou; clearing his throat. "I don't know about you two, but I'm out of here. I've had enough of this fooling around and ruining friendships that should have never turned this way. Whoever comes with me now, I'll treat to hamburgers."

"That Tezuka can handle things from here. Lets leave Echizen in his hands," Atobe agreed; following behind the already leaving Momoshiro.

"Hamburgers," Niou's lips curled up as he pulled the sleeve of Horio's shirt; jogging in order to catch up with the others. "Puri."

* * *

_I could have handled anything you would have given me if you would have stayed a bit longer. If this door has truly closed, then I too am closing the door… the door to my heart. In order to free myself from this pain, I will continue to be used. If I am to be cursed to this bed for all eternity, it no longer matters. To be broken into and freed of these feelings… it's now all I ask for. There is no such thing as love.

* * *

_

As the door creaked open, Ryoma let out a gasp as he noticed Tezuka walking in. Though, he quickly got his act together and crawled out from under the covers; inching his way towards the edge of the bed with every step Tezuka took. When they were face to face, Ryoma noticed that the older boy had his eyes fixed to the ground.

"You don't want to look at me?" Ryoma reached out his hand only to have it stopped. "What? You came here which means you want to use me. Don't smack me away."

"I didn't come here for those reasons," Tezuka kept his composure as Ryoma went after the buttons on his pants.

"Then what do you want? If you have no interest in this, get out."

"What are you doing?"

Ryoma continued to tug at Tezuka's pants until they fell down. "What does it look like? I'm obviously going to pleasure you."

"This person you've become isn't very likable," the older boy didn't even flinch as Ryoma's mouth wrapped around him. "Is this what you want? For me to give in just like everyone else? Would it please you if I allowed myself to use you for pleasure I don't wish to have?"

Ryoma pulled himself away. "I just want you to help break me. Despite your expression, it looks like you're enjoying yourself."

"I came here because it was asked of me," Tezuka's strong arms pinned Ryoma's frail body onto the bed without the young boy even realizing it. Holding him down with one hand, he used the other to pull his pants back up. Returning to the younger boy, he stared deep into his honey eyes. "Your eyes show something different from what you're doing, Echizen. This isn't what you want. What you want is answers."

"I…" Ryoma could feel himself shaking; trying his hardest to push away thoughts that were flowing into his mind. "Just go. If you… if you don't want me… leave…"

Tezuka released him and allowed himself to swiftly turn away. "Fuji didn't tell you."

"I don't want to talk about him!"

"You went to see him, Echizen. Couldn't you see that he still loves you? Seeing you like this… knowing that it was his doing that place you in this position is killing him!" Tezuka yelled. "This isn't some game, Echizen, this is life! He came he in order to fix the mistakes he made, but you wouldn't even allow him to explain. Now, Fuji has given up just as you have. The reason why he left…"

"Fuji…senpai…"

"He left because he regretted everything he had done to you!"

Ryoma didn't overly understand what Tezuka meant, but his body still reacted to the words. He took the blankets and wrapped them around his bare body; waiting to hear what was next.

Tezuka returned to Ryoma; their eyes meeting. It could be seen in his movement that it was taking everything in Tezuka to keep himself from becoming completely flustered. "To allow himself to get carried away when you said you loved him was something he couldn't shake. That day you went to confront him about him leaving, instead of answering his calls when he tried to reach you, you instead ignored him. Fuji had to leave for college, but he never once wanted to leave you behind. For the almost two years that he'd been gone, he continued to try to talk with you and explain things, but you were too stubborn to take the time to listen. Fuji knew that you were too young to understand what love was or the acts that you were doing, but he continued to do things with you because he was foolish. He believes that if you never shared those intimate moments that you would have never became this way. It was for the best… that's what he thought. To let you go would help you grow. To leave you would cast away the pain he was placing on you. Fuji didn't realize that the night he took that innocence from you that he also took away your freedom. Don't you understand, Echizen? Can't you see that Fuji can't help but feel that no matter what he does, he only continues to hurt you?"

"If this… if this…" Ryoma choked on his words as tears swelled in his eyes and fell down his cheeks. "If this isn't love… then what is? I want to be loved! I want… I want… I-I… I hate myself…"

Grabbing for his phone, Tezuka quickly called someone. Stating where he was and to hurry there, he hung up and returned the device to his pocket. "Put your clothes on, Echizen. This is the last chance you'll be given. I'll wait until Fuji gets here."

* * *

_ To love and to be loved. To make mistakes and to regret your actions. This world… it continues to become even more confusing. I want the flowers in my heart to bloom open again and to feel what is real. If love was meant to be a part of my life, it will be. The money was never enough and neither was the touch. Nothing could make up for what I had lost. This void in my heart… it can not be filled by actions of being violated night after night. All I ever truly wanted was you to take my hand once again. As you said, forever is a long time, but I… I'm willing to commit myself. Please, water the flowers in my heart and let them blossom anew.

* * *

_

"Echizen," as Fuji entered the room, Tezuka made his way to the door; leaving. "You've become prisoner to this room… I'm sorry."

"You knew you were going to leave… you knew that if you continued to push into me that I would become hurt… yet you continued. Why?" Ryoma found it hard to look at the taller boy.

"I believed that as long as I did those acts that you would stay mine forever. I failed to realize that I had trapped you in my arms and was hurting you each step of the way. When you said you loved me, I knew you couldn't possibly understand what you were saying. Though, in my heart, I did love you. My foolish actions are to blame, and I regret allowing myself to do such things," moving forward, he touched his fingers gently against Ryoma's wet cheeks. "No matter what I did, if I stayed or left, I was going to hurt you. And then to force myself on you when you were most vulnerable…"

The younger boy shifted his eyes left and right before lifting his head up and stared up at Fuji. "Even if we were to make up and things are better, you would just leave me again."

"I can't stay here forever, Echizen. You, too, will graduate soon and see that you'll leave this place for college."

"I… Fuji-senpai… even when you left… I still thought of you and only you…" biting his lower lip, Ryoma felt another set of tears streaming down his eyes. "No matter how many different guys came and went… I continued to pretend they were you. I always hoped that I'd wake up to see you next to me!"

"Echizen…"

"Tezuka… Tezuka said that friendships break because both sides give up on staying in contact. If we… if we stayed in contact… if we continued to talk and stay with each other while even far away, would you…" Ryoma jumped off of the bed and into Fuji's arms. "Would you please teach me? I want to know… I want to understand… the true meaning of love…"

"The true meaning of love…" Fuji blinked a few times as a sad smile formed on his face. "That's something that I'm not even sure about."

Ryoma squeezed his arms tightly around Fuji's frame. "Then, let this be it. Let the true meaning of love be us here together like this… with the hurt finally subsiding and mistakes put aside…"

"Alright…"

"This time, Fuji-senpai, I will say it and know what it means," Ryoma got onto his toes and barely pressed his lips onto Fuji's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Echizen."

* * *

_If life could be as simple as people say it is, we would live in a perfect world living perfect lives. Things that are meant to be will be. To love and to be loved is such an odd feeling that I wouldn't dare try to explain. I would have continued to lie to myself in order to forget what had happened, but now I have no regrets. If it's possible, no matter the distance, I wish to continue to have you hold my hand. Letting it go would be nearly impossible for me to do. I love you. Never would I have guessed they would be such painful words to say. An attraction between two people and the friction it will create… it's scary. More than anything… I want to wake up with you next to me. I want this warmth to never leave me.

* * *

_

As the sun rose once again over the horizon, Ryoma turned to his right; still in the hotel room. Seeing Fuji sleeping next to him eased his heart. Carefully, he cuddled up against his warm body and shut his eyes once again. Fuji, barely awake, pulled his long arm up and over him and lovingly kissed his cheek as if knowing exactly what the young boy wanted at that moment.

* * *

_ The curse that was once placed upon me had been lifted. I'm no longer a prisoner to this bed. Even if the true meaning of love is still a mystery… to be here with you… that is more than enough for me. Together, we'll cherish this fragile love and allow it to mature…_

_**End.**_

**NOTE:**** Oops. Did I forget to mention that this would be the last chapter? Yeah, that's probably because I wasn't even aware that chapter 10 would conclude this fic. Knowing my luck, I forgot to clear something up and mention things, but you all usually tell me about those things. Heh~ Anyways, yes, this fic is complete… eleven months and ten days after it was first published. I would like to take a moment to thank EchizenRyomaLover for helping to inspire this fic, and thank you all who have continued to come back and read this fic. I hope that this ending was able to please all of you. I wonder, are we all satisfied with this?  
**

**Quick last minutes things that will not make sense to most people reading this note in the future. First, April 17****th****, 2011 will be when my next FujiXRyoma fic will be uploaded ("Unconscious Love" ― A remake of "The Fallen Prince"). Second, if anyone is interested, my profile has a link to my original fiction story that I'm working on. Third, despite it saying that this fic is not complete, it is. I'm still having issues getting to the "property" portion of the story sections along with uploading. I will change this to complete as soon as I'm able to.  
**

**No more chattering because this note has become way too long. Though, I better not hear complaints about chapter length… this is the longest chapter, I believe. Thank you for reading this fic and enjoying it if you did. It was an honor to be able to write this fic for all of you to read. Until next fic, bye bye!**


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